When a loved one is hurt, lost or just anxious, do you really need them to meet you half way? Right now, while they are in pain, do they really need to move to meet you at all? Love them unconditionally. Go to where they need you to be and love them. Just be available. Don’t put preconditions, obligations or expectations on your love. Simply accept them, not only who they are when they are at their best but accept them for who they are when they are at their worst. There is no score to keep in love.
Finish the statement “I should….” Five or more times. Now look at each statement. Does it have a meaningful impact on tour life? Where does it come from? Is it true for you now?
One of my clients is a wonderful woman who runs a small business. She impressed those who know her as strong, intelligent, competent and social. She sees herself differently. She sees herself as a girl who should do as she is told, let her betters take care of things and to basically stay out of the way.
When she did this excise, she realized that she was no longer a child. She no longer needed to listen to the adults. Her, as a child, was no longer true. She as the competent adult. She was one who’s voice should be heard.
After you do your “I should” exercise, try “I could” exercise next.
Are you still confined by what you were told as a child? Are you still living a life you “should” live? I would love to hear from you or share to someone who is trapped by their childhood.
(image by colibricansada on by 2.0)