Tag Archives: Life coach

Wheel of Life

The Wheel of Life is a tool a lot of coaches use to gauge where a new client is and where they need some help.  It is a pretty simple and straight forward tool.  Basically, for each category of your life you rate it on a one to ten scale.  When you plot those ratings on a radial graph, it looks like a wheel.  A well balanced life would look like a nice large wheel.  Maybe not completely circular but nearly so.  If your ratings are vastly different, say one of your categories is at a 3 and the rest are at an 8, that wheel won’t roll very easily.

I’ve seen dozens of versions of the Wheel of Life.  Generally speaking, the wheel uses categories like Health, Wealth, Growth, Career, etc.  All slightly different versions of the similar theme.  This morning I came across www.mindtools.com.  I don’t have personal experience with them but they have an interesting twist to the Wheel of Life tool.  In addition to the more generic categories above, they add categories that many people feel are definitional, for example, father, husband, manager, etc.  I have to admit, I like it.  By including these definitional categories, it really cuts to what matters to many people and that is the point of the Wheel of Life.

What Mind Tools did not do, unfortunately, is take it to the next level.  That is, once you have rated all of your categories, then go back and ask yourself what you can do to improve each rating by two points.  The answer to that question can determine what your short term goals should be.  I like to break that down a step further and add a concept of time to the questions.  For example, what can I do in the next year to improve my ratings by two points and what can I do today to start to improve my ratings.

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New plan

How I work with my clients has evolved over the last couple of years. Originally, I only offered weekly hour long sessions with a mix of live and virtual interactions. However, we covered too much in an hour so that many of my clients felt overwhelmed with the homework they had to do.

I started offering a biweekly hour long call, only via phone. That gave my clients more time to do their homework. Unfortunately, that also meant a loss of accountability. To help with that, I added text and email support between calls. Some clients go for the weekly offering, especially in the beginning but most prefer biweekly.

Now, by client request, I’m adding another option. I’m offering a weekly 30 minute call supported by text and emails in between. The thirty minute format will require that we really stay on task and will help prevent my clients from taking on too much in between sessions. The text/email also adds accountability. I’m really excited about this new option.

Reach out if you are stuck and need someone to help push and drive you out of your slump.

Please share this post. You never know who in your life is floundering and needs a hand or a boot on their behind.

Don’t be one of the 92%

The University of Scranton teamed with the Journal of Clinical Psychology and reviewed New Year’s Resolutions (See summary here).  Only 8% of the population succeeded at their prior year’s New Year’s Resolutions.  25% of people drop their New Year’s Resolution by the end of the first week.  A third of people drop their resolution by the end of the first month.

There are a number of factors influencing resolution success.  A very typical issue is that people tend to NOT plan out how they are going to actually achieve their resolution.  The most common resolution is losing weight.  Losing weight comes down to three factors; eating fewer calories, eating healthier and moving more.  To be successful at achieving a weight loss resolution, a person needs to plan out how are they going to track and reduce calories, how are they going to ensure they eat more and how are they going to move more.  While it is ok for the goal to be a little lose, the more specific a person is on how he/she will accomplish the actions that lead to achieving the goal, the more likely he/she will lose the weight.

Be very specific on your action plans.  Ask yourself the five “W” and an “H” questions.  What are you going to do?  Why are you doing this action?  When will you do it?  Where will you do it?  Who are you going to do it with?  Finally, How are you going to do it?  Once you have these questions all laid out, put your action plans in your calendar and set reminders on your phone.  Look over your plan.  Are their any obstacles to accomplishing the plan as you laid out?  Address them now.  If you say you are going to go to the gym at 6 am every morning but your schedule has you getting to bed at 2 am, your plan probably isn’t going to work for long.  You are better off addressing these issues before you even start.

I’ve recently published a book Greater Than that is very appropriate for achieving New Year’s Resolutions.   Greater Than is the first in the series The Little Book Series for Big Success.  Each book in this series is meant to be read in under an hour and is constructed in a way where you can start applying its techniques immediately.  Greater Than give thirteen different tools, techniques and strategies that will help you reach your resolution goals.

Please like or share if you know someone who needs a little help with their resolutions.  We all could use a little help once in awhile.

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I am not that kind of coach

I’ve heard others say that the universe has a plan for you and you just need to trust in that plan.  I am not that kind of coach.

I’ve heard others say that every bad thing that happened to you is just the universes way of protecting you from a greater harm you weren’t aware of.  I am not that kind of coach.

I’ve heard others say that everything has a vibration, even thoughts.  Things are attracted to those that vibrate on the same frequency.  All you have to do is learn to vibrate at the right frequency.  I am not that kind of coach.

I’ve heard others say that your ego is working against you.  It, and not you, is the center of all that is negative in your thoughts and life.  I am not that kind of coach.

I’ve heard others say that you are unique and beautiful and your authentic self is love.  I am not that kind of coach.

I’ve heard others say that you can attract riches by putting a five dollar bill in each shoe (really).  I am not that kind of coach.

I am the kind of coach that teaches effort, personal responsibility and preparation.  I am the kind of coach that will call you a liar when you use excuses.  I am the kind of coach that believes you can choose to settle for the life others plan for you or embrace the life you create for yourself.  I am that kind of coach.

The question is, what kind of client are you?

Is that a reason or an excuse?

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When we list out what our obstacles are, when we list out why we haven’t succeeded, does that list consist of real obstacles or excuses?  A client tried telling me how her contractors were dictating her schedule.  When I asked why, she had a series of reasons.  Her poor communication style.  It is how the industry works, etc.  Then I listed each reason back to her and ask, “is this an excuse or is this a real obstacle?”  With each one, the answer was that is was an excuse.  It was an excuse that allowed her to not engage her contractors.  Once she was able to admit that she was making excuses to avoid the conflict, we created a series of tactics that allowed her to stand up for herself without creating the conflict she feared.  We also role played the smaller amount of conflict that would happen.  We built up her confidence, improved her motivation, gave her tools and (most importantly) removed her excuses.  The contractors continue to work with her and they no longer dictate her schedule.  I have an excerpt of where some of these excuses are coming from here: Voices within.

List all of the reasons that are holding you back.  For each one, decide if it is a real obstacle or is it an excuse.  Then, create strategies to engage each item on your list.  Even though it may be an excuse, you are still going to have to deal with it.  It will take effort. You can use some of these techniques to get yourself moving.

 

 

Well that was uncomfortable

A client recently described her business coaching sessions with me as feeling similar to being poked by sticks.  Then she thanked me for the changes I helped her make in her business and she extended our agreement for several months.  A prospective client asked at the end of our first strategy sessions if all of the sessions would be as painful for her.  I said not ALL of them.  She sign up for several months of sessions.

Around a third of my clients cry during at least one of the sessions.  Those are the ones who tend to get the most out of our work together.  I bring value to my clients by making them uncomfortable and pushing their limits.  I wrote awhile ago that my job is the asker of uncomfortable questions and teller of unpleasant truths. asking of uncomfortable questions and teller of unpleasant 

My family is in a position right now where we have to make a couple of really big decisions that could significantly change the direction of our lives.  My wife and I were talking about the different choices.  Suddenly, I started to feel uncomfortable with the conversation.  I did feel like I was getting poked with sticks.  Then I realized it.  My wife was coaching me!  I called her out on it.  She admitted that she was coaching me. It was uncomfortable, effective but uncomfortable.

Openings available for March’s Live More, Laugh More, Earn More program

“Live More.  Laugh More.  Earn More.” is a six week program to help participants create strategic life plans to overcome obstacles and create immediate results.  Participants will go through a process to understand their goals, inventory their assets, address their obstacles and create internal motivation.  After six weeks, you will know your goal and be rushing toward it.

This process is done over the phone and online.  The next program starts March 7th.  Sign up while there are spots available.