I’m Jessica Jones. As a Registered Dietitian for a primary care clinic, I counsel hundreds of patients on medical nutrition therapy for weight management, hypertension, diabetes and hyperlipi…
These icons of entertainment, science, business, and art overcame great adversity to change the world.
Time continues to tick by. Days come and go. They add up to weeks and then months. You watch them go by. Still you are not working toward your dream. Perhaps you don’t know what to do. Perhaps you are afraid of failing. You’ve told yourself what you want. Maybe you told others. You’ve started working toward your dream many times. You bought the exercise bike, you looked up businesses online and you did the research. You just never got very far.
Every time you try and then fail, your internal monologue has more proof to use against you when you try again. It becomes harder to try. It becomes easier to listen to the negative voice that holds you back.
First, you must understand that you are not alone. It normally takes people eight times to accomplish their New Year’s Resolutions – that is once a year for eight years – if they ever accomplish their goals at all. Many people try a number of different diet plans or start a number of businesses before they find the one that works for them. The secret isn’t that the diet was wrong or the business was wrong, the person wasn’t able to overcome their internal objections and monologues.
As a business and life coach, I can help you break out of of this cycle. In 90 days, we can create a plan, build motivation and overcome your internal obstacles. In 90 days, we can get you on a path for amazing growth. Reach out now. Email me at WolskiSuccessPartners@gmail.com to start working together in the new year and make it your best year ever.
Imagine if every time you made a mistake in your life, you had paused, reflected on the situations, learned from the experience and grew personally and professionally.
Don’t you agree it would have been the wisest thing for you past self to do? No blaming. No internalizing limiting thoughts. Simply learning and growing.
If your past self would have been wiser to turn all of your mistakes into experience, wouldn’t it be wiser for you to start doing it now? We all make mistakes. Only a few of us turn those mistakes into growth. Be one of the few. It is a decision you can make today.
I’m reading How to Change Minds by Rob Jolles. He spends a significant amount of the book with the Decision Cycle, basically the process that we each go through whenever we make a decision of any significance. This process is powerfully useful for me in coaching my clients, I am always looking for new perspectives and techniques to help my clients.
The second step of the Decision Cycle is Awareness. This is the person is aware that they need a change but the pain of not changing is not yet significant enough to drive the person to change. Frequently, the person uses coping mechanisms. He uses the example of the first home he and his wife bought. It was a wonderful little home but was located as close as legally possible to the Beltway in D.C. The noise from the Beltway was constant and loud. They coped by keeping their storm windows on all year and running noisy air cleaners to drown out the noise from the freeway. These coping strategies were enough to let them live in this home for years, until the pain of staying in that home was more than choosing to move to a quieter home. This happened when they had a party and several of their guests independently wondered about all the noise.
A more sever example is a person who is overweight, doesn’t exercise and eats lots of unhealthy foods. He knows that his health is at risk. He knows what must be done to improve the situation but the pain of being overweight isn’t enough to cause him to change his habits . . . . . until his first heart attack. Suddenly, he finds motivation to lose weight, exercise and learn to love broccoli. I’ve heard it said that having the first heart attack has saved more lives than every doctor preaching about taking better care of yourself put together.
Rob has been training large groups of people for years and with each group he surveys them on where they are in the Decision Cycle. He has found nearly 80 percent of them are in the Awareness stage. That is, they know they aren’t satisfied with where they are but they haven’t yet had the heart attack moment. The heart attack moment isn’t just about health. It could be losing a job, failing in a business, getting a divorce, etc.
This is where coaching can come in. By working with a coach, we can help you make a commitment to change BEFORE you have the heart attack moment. Coaches can help you realize the need for change at a much more visceral level and help you create that change in your life.
Let me help you. Reach out before the heart attack moment. Let’s build a better you together.
Good Article. The underlying fear for many of these is fear of change. Ironically, we change a little every moment of every day. Over a year, over a decade, we change significantly, whether we want to or not. The question isn’t IF we are going to change. The question is WHO is going to determine how we change, us or someone else.
Everyone is afraid sometimes. Learn how to drop the fears holding you back and use them to your advantage.
How many times have you decided that you weren’t good enough at a particular skill and then stopped doing what ever it was? Perhaps it more generalized, for example, “I’m not good a math.” Or even, “Girls aren’t good at math.” Then you used those comments as an excuse to stop doing something challenging.
I was speaking with a client recently who enjoyed writing but had a serious block on finishing his stories and articles. He felt that he wasn’t good enough of a writer. He’d come up with great topics. He’d start amazing but as soon as his article started to take shape, he’d abandon it.
There are two things you must realize. First, the feeling of “not good enough” is frequently fear and is used as an excuse to get out of working toward our goals. The fear is frequently of confirming that you actually aren’t good enough. Therefore, you don’t finish the task, so there is no proof of your skill level.
The second thing to realize is that by doing a task, you get better at it. It is been proven repeatedly in clinical studies that anyone can learn new skills with practice, regardless of age, and learning difficult skills actually improves overall mental ability. This means that there is no, “I’m not good enough.” There is only, “I am good enough,” “I’m not good enough yet but I’m learning with every effort,” and “I’m not good enough yet and I’ve decided to not put in the effort required to get good enough.”
It is ok if you decide to not put the effort in to master the skill but make that decision. Don’t decide out of fear.