Had an initial meeting with potential client this week. My first meeting with a new client is really a session. I don’t waste time and like to get right to work. I mentioned, perhaps a bit too frequently, that I help but the client has to do the hard work. He finally called me on it, what is the hard work, he asked.
To break it down, if you are trying to make a change, the hard work comes down to four areas:
1.) Brutal self honesty – most of us don’t like to be too brutally honest with ourselves all the time. Actually, most of us don’t like to be too brutally honest with ourselves most of the time and really why should we? We get to be less than our 100% best some of the time, a little vacation from our own personal perfection, and we don’t have to analyze all of our little lapses. That’s ok but when you are trying to make a change, you have to be brutally honest to understand what needs to change.
2.) Making a change – our environment and our psyche are typically designed to maintain the status quo. It is easier to just keep doing what we’ve always done than it is to make change. Making a change and sticking to it is hard work.
3.) Taking responsibility – it is so easy to blame outside forces or other people for where we are in our lives. It is much harder to own that where we are in our lives depends more on our efforts and reactions.
4.) Forgiving – to forgive ourselves and others can be very difficult. Sure, we say “I forgive you” and might even mean it, but months or years later we still hold onto the pain. To truly forgive someone (including yourself), you need to move on from the pain.