Rightly timed pause

No word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.- Mark Twain’s Speeches (1923 ed.)

While Mark Twain was referring to a pause in a play or story, a rightly timed pause is powerfully effective in many aspects of life.  

In conversation, most of us spend the time the other person is speaking planning what we are going to say next. Instead, listen to what the other is saying, pause and then respond authentically. 

When a boss just drops a bombshell on your desk, don’t go straight fight or flight. Instead pause, think about why this is happening and how this situation might be turned into a positive and then respond. 

Take the time. A deep breath’s worth. Take your rightly timed pause.  Your life will be richer for it. 

Voices Within – excerpt

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Wolski Success Partners Voices Inside Presentation

The negative thoughts rushing through your mind are not the enemy.  They are not things to be fought, rejected or contained.  They are protective instincts triggered in physical structures of your mind.  Just because they are part of you and are trying to protect you, doesn’t mean that they are right.  You get to decide which of these thoughts you focus on and turn into action.

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Interrupt Yourself

file0001382919230Your life, your schedule, your habits and your brain all conspire to keep the status quo. We are squishy machines, biologically tuned to keep doing what we typically do as efficiently as the brain can manage. Like Pavlov’s dogs, our brain notices repeated triggers and starts producing hormones key to emotions based on what hormones are normally triggered in the trigger situation. For example, hate your job? Feel depressed, stressed and frustrated at work? Your brain will identify triggers on your trip to work and start releasing cortisol, the primary stress hormone. What you do reinforces how you feel and how you feel reinforces what you do. Most people follow the same routine throughout their lives. They eat the same meals. They have the same reactions in certain situations. They hang out with the same people and talk about the same topics. Yes. This changes slowly over time. Unfortunately, many people hate where they are in their lives. They use caffeine to get them through the day and alcohol to help them sleep at night. Perhaps they through in pills or therapy just to be able to maintain their miserable position in life. The key to improving this situation is to interrupt these habits that reinforce your status quo. Start by making easy changes. Get to work at a different time each day, take a different route and listen to comedians on the ride to work instead of talk radio. Go out to lunch with different people. As you start to make changes, notice your stress triggers. What situations are causing you to have stress reactions? What is your body telling you? Once you know your triggers, you can create a short term and a long term solution. For the short term, work on how you react to those triggers. Interrupt your triggers and reframe your reactions. For the long term, identify the source of your stress. Either change the root cause of your stress or embrace it.